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Guide: How to Talk to an Employee Who Shares a Mental Health Issue With You
It Can Start With You
Organizations where leaders talk openly about their own mental health and experiences have found success in creating work environments where employees feel empowered and confident enough to share their own experiences. Laura van Dernoot Lipsky in her book Trauma Stewardship states, “When we acknowledge our own fear, we have the opportunity to deepen our compassion not only for ourselves but also for every being that has ever been afraid.” To admit to a mental illness or mental health symptoms takes courage, and leaders that have the courage to share their own struggles help provide “safety” to their teams to do the same.
Today, agency leaders are confronting unprecedented times while leading public safety personnel. These challenges may include anti-police sentiment, recruiting issues, staffing shortages, and burnout. These factors further impact a leader’s ability to be vulnerable. In addition, it can be lonely at the top, with few resources for people in leadership positions regarding peer support or mental health care. With all that is going on, departments are led by professionals who may have difficulty processing their own trauma or stressors, not only due to lack of resources, but feel that they cannot allow themselves to be vulnerable. Leaders can lose sight of the fact that they can be open, strong, and confident, yet still model behavior that exudes vulnerability and good physical and mental health. The significance of asking for help and caring for oneself as a leader is important and has many benefits to not only the leader, but the entire organization.
Normalizing The Conversation
If leaders in the first responder community do not talk to one another and normalize conversations around mental health, the likelihood that a colleague will open up when they are struggling with something is low. They may instead ignore and push down thoughts and feelings, which can manifest in other ways. By not talking about mental health, the stigma associated with it is only perpetuated. However, talking about mental health in the workplace can result in a number of benefits, including increasing trust between coworkers, providing a safe space for those who are experiencing mental health symptoms, and creating a culture where employees feel like they can bring their full selves to work.
So, what are some ways to normalize the mental health conversation? Here are a few suggestions:
Talk openly about mental health
In conversations, make it clear that mental health is just as important as physical health. One of the best ways to reduce stigma around mental health is to treat it with the same level of importance as physical health, and make it known to your department that you feel that way. It’s normal to talk about physical ailments and seeing a doctor if physically ill or injured, and mental health should be no different. Talking about seeing a therapist due to feelings of depression, anxiety, sleep disruption, etc., normalizes the mental health conversation in a similar way.
By being in a leadership role, you have incredible power to create change in your department. Find others in your department who are also in leadership roles who could be allies in normalizing these conversations. When having conversations about mental health and wellness, speak confidently and directly. Showing hesitation when talking about mental health only adds to the notion that it is a taboo topic.
Be a trauma-informed leader and educate yourself and others
As a leader, you often go to lengths to make sure you are educated about a particular policy, procedure, or training you are discussing or leading within your department. The same should hold true for the topic of mental health. Do your research about trauma, mental health and wellness, especially within the first responder community, and share that information with others. There are many different mental symptoms, each with unique behaviors that can impact work performance and relationships with others. Sharing information eliminates misconceptions that contribute to stigma.
Be conscious of language
Mental health language is and often can be used negatively as adjectives, which is problematic. Be conscious of the words you use to describe people and behaviors that you perceive as different. For example, avoid the use of the words like “crazy,” “idiot,” “psycho/psychotic,” “mental,” or “off their rocker.” Stepping in to discourage such language when it is used to describe someone’s behavior is important. This helps send the message that describing individuals who may not be well-liked or are viewed as “different” using derogatory words to imply a mental health problem will not be tolerated. When such terms are used in jest it only perpetuates a negative stereotype and stigma.
Consider other resources
There may be an opportunity for your HR department to share the mental health resources your department may offer, and a policy around mental health days, wellness breaks, or other support they can provide at work. See if language around mental health can be included in orientation materials and other initial training, such as including mental health leave policies.
Be bold
Make a statement or publicly share information about the department’s mental health support and resources.
Don’t overthink it
In having these conversations there is no need to try and fix or solve the difficulty an employee may be having. Instead, it is showing the willingness to simply be okay with the conversation and to just be there for them and to listen. It is always good to encourage others and be willing to share that there is no shame in reaching out for help. Many first responders who have faced a mental health challenge at some point have gone on to have long and successful careers. It truly is OK to not be OK.